I’m afraid my new job isn’t working out to well. I’m starting to think it’s just a little bit dodgy. There was something fishy about my orientation that I couldn’t quite put my finger on:
MANAGER: Then after Bert has stunned them and Pigdog has put them in the tub of ice, your job is to remove their kidneys.
ME: Are you sure this is legal?
MANAGER: Well of course it is! You've heard of organ transplants, haven't you?
ME: Well, yes.
MANAGER: And how they save thousands of lives each year?
MANAGER: There you have it! You're helping to save lives!
ME: But aren't we only supposed to use willing donors?
MANAGER: They're all volunteers.
ME: Shouldn't volunteers attempt to run and scream less?
MANAGER: No, no, those are both perfectly normal symptoms of excess kidney syndrome. And you wouldn't want them to suffer from that now would you?
ME: I guess not...
MANAGER: Well then, get to it. Pick up your meat cleaver!
ME: Allright then... (CHOP!)
DONOR: OH GOD NO!
MANAGER: See, obvious case of excess kidney syndrome.
ME: Those aren't kidneys.
MANGER: Close enough.